It's amazing how movies and tv shows have a way of making you think about your own life. Here I am, watching The Bucket List (one of my favorite late Jack Nicholson movies) and thinking about what my life will be like in 35-40 years. After all my kids are grown up and out of the house, am I going to love my husband? Are we going to have things in common besides our children? How do I keep us from growing apart? Honestly, I think some of this stuff has come from other places, but I'm going to share my ideas with you anyway:
1. Having a regular date night - I truly believe this gives the opportunity to keep some resemblance of life before kids. Without a date night, it's dinner with the kids, get the kids ready for bed, get things ready for the morning, and pass out. How are you supposed to be a couple instead of just 2 people raising kids unless you have a date on a regular basis.
2. Going away for a weekend 3-4 times a year without children - Sometimes, you need more than just an evening alone together. Leaving the kids with your parents and taking off to somewhere within driving distance for a couple of days is a nice, moderately-priced way of getting some much-needed alone time. You can still call the kids before bed and say goodnight if you need to, but it's ultimately a weekend about the 2 of you doing whatever you want to do together.
3. Taking time to talk to each other everyday about each other (not the kids) - Whether it's as you're lying in bed right before sleep or on the phone during a lunch break or long commute, find a chance to talk. Just talk. About something you saw on tv, what's been going on at work, or, if you're me, sports (I LOVE sports!).
4. Watch a movie at home after the kids go to bed regularly - Sometimes, when you know everyone will sleep in the next day, choosing a movie for the 2 of you and cuddling up on the couch to it is a nice way to get some quick alone time that reminds you of so many of those nights back when you were dating, and staying up late watching movies together (even if you fall asleep in the middle of it, at least you're together). Of course, this one could easily get interrupted by a kid with a nightmare or soothe a crying baby, but at least you try. At some point, it'll work out, even if it seems hopeless.
5. Take advantage of grandparents that live nearby - Your parents want to spend time with your grandkids. Without you around. That's how kids learn some of their most valuable lessons, get spoiled a little, and become well-rounded adults by learning about the past. They'll also hear some child-appropriate embarrassing stories about you, but that's ok, right? While your kids are spending time with the people who raised you, you and your spouse can do ANYTHING! Make it a productive Saturday or a lazy one. Go grocery shopping, fix the leaky pipe, or lay around the house all day having a Star Wars marathon (one of my favorites). Even if you're doing stuff around the house, you're in each other's company.
I know these things aren't spectacular or grand, but simple, easy, and mostly do-able. I hope to keep these in mind for myself one day.
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